If you can’t find Mr Right; there’s Something Wrong with You

If you can’t find Mr Right; there’s Something Wrong with You

Get me right. You perceive someone based on yourself: based on your personal beliefs and thought patterns. Man was created as a social being not a loner and specific traits were given to man to make sure he relates. For example someone with a musical gift will naturally hang around someone else with a musical talent. It gets more complex; a giver will relate to a receiver, a talker will relate to a listener, an attention seeker will relate with an attention giver; a material person will relate with a rich person.

We either relate with people who are like us (e.g. musicians), who have something we need (e.g. a listener) or who need something we have (e.g. affirmation). Like it or not this is the way we perceive everybody around us. Look at your friends or anybody you love; you may say I love him for who he is. But who is he? If he was not that way would you still love him? There is something that links people and sometimes that link is so strong we love them; sometimes its mutual, sometimes it isn't.

Jane
So where am I getting at? Let’s say a certain Jane, is seeking to get married. Let’s break down who Jane is. Jane was brought up by strict parents; this would mean that she is either as strict as them or the exact opposite - lax. Her strict parents probably didn't give a Jane a chance to be responsible for herself hence she is used to being taken care of. Bottom line is 'strict' affects Jane. When she meets a man and he strict he will either be very attracted to him because he will fill the void of 'someone to be responsible of me' in Jane's life OR she will resent him because she doesn't want anyone who will remind him of her folks.

Jane Needs Rough
If Jane had a rough brother she will quickly identify that trait of lack of it in a man. She will either feel comfortable with a rough man or a gentle man (opposite her bro). If she is in a relationship with this man, that is one of the things that will cause them to fight. She will have a problem that he doesn't pull the chair etc (gentleman stuff) OR the flip side she will see him as too soft when he the waiter bring the wrong change she will want (need) him to be more assertive - (code for more rough)

Pauline, "I always meet a guy, he likes me... then drifts away... Am I that worthless?"
If a certain Pauline has a low self-esteem, she definitely doesn't like that about herself. She will see confident girls and want to be like them and unconsciously start emulating them including the kind of guys they pick. Soon she will notice a pattern; "I meet a guy, he likes me but after a while he seems to drift away. Why? Do I look that un-pretty? Am I that worthless?" It’s because after a while the guy will realise that the real Pauline is not the same girl they met at the shopping centre. Then Pauline will now have a string of break-ups to deal with and always be on edge; trying to please the next guy so that he doesn't leave

OR

Damsel in Distress
She will melt into a cocoon and naturally attract guys who are attracted the 'damsel in distress type' and when the guy gives her the attention and the affirmation she needs she comes out of her cocoon and is no longer the 'damsel in distress' so he either leaves or adapts to the situation... Bottom line something will change, how they relate, who they are etc

There are indefinite angles I can take that can fill a book;
There are indefinite angles I can take that can fill a book; starting from Jane's or Pauline’s upbringing to her friends, to who she looks up to, to the guy that abused her when she was young, to the students who look up to her in a way that nobody ever has (prefects), to her first love that crushed her when she was 16, to her mother, whom she wants to be like, to her father who is the ideal type husband, to her older brother who always takes care of her, to the girls who bullied her in school, to her pastor whom she confides in and listens to.

Gold-diggers are not the problem. YOU ARE!
If you ever find yourself saying strong statements, statements that you unknowingly use to make judgements or perceptions about others; check again, those statements apply to you. If someone says that men are untrustworthy, she is probably talking about 1 or 2 particular men and using that to judge the next man. If the problem was caused by more than 1 man then most likely the problem is not the men, it’s YOU. In the same way if men say ladies are gold-diggers, untrustworthy or the other things that men say about ladies, the problem is most likely YOU. I'd probably ask why do you seem to attract gold-digger chics? I don’t attract gold diggers myself so the problem has to be YOU. The gold-digger chic is already a gold-digger, you: you are opposed to that principle yet you are drawn to them. Is it that these ladies have something that you are looking for? E.g affirmation? So hence the problem is not that ladies are gold-diggers, the problem is that you are in deficit of affirmation and you need a lady who is (all the traits you are looking for plus) good at affirmation -minus a material girl hence deleting the gold-digger problem that you have. Hope I made sense there.

Church Girls Are Boring...Not Boys

Why do church girls say Christian boys are boring? Well, because it them who are boring. Before you throw stones at me have a listen.

First of all church is a very pretentious place. We can’t be who we really are; it’s “unholy” or “inappropriate” etc. Bottom line, Peter, a church boy will never get to see Janice - a church girl, for who really is. Janice will always put on her Sunday best, act very “lady-like”, smile softly and keep short conversations except when she’s at bible study or something. Peter will notice that and treat Janice in the same way; very “gentlemanly” short brief conversations and indulge her in bible topics since that is what she seems interested in.

But in reality, Janice is looking for a fun dude, a heavy talker, a straight to the point kind of guy. Peter is that guy but she will never know. Peter will always be the boring church dude. What about Peter? Well let’s ask him. The stereo type Peter will say “I can’t date chics from my church, they just talk about bible stuff and all. It’s like they don’t have a life.” Ladies and gentlemen let me let you in on a little secret; everybody has a life. Church is not the best place to see it. Not that it is wrong to behave in a certain way in church; you should, out of respect but for God’s sake don’t be pretentious... I digress.

So I say again, if you have not yet found Mr Right, there is something wrong with YOU; not with men. Whatever you have a problem with is in you. FIX IT

Christianity = Mediocrity and the Bible is the Excuse for That

CNN News vs TBN News

The natural assumption is that Christianity is equals to Mediocrity. You don’t believe me? If an earthquake took place somewhere which news would you take more seriously CNN News or TBN News? Which audit firm would you hire to oversee a project worth 2billion shillings? Delloite or Christian Association of Accountants? Which radio station has more talented presenters Family or Classic? Which walk raises more money? Touch a Childs Heart or Walk for the Bibleless? Who raised more money for the starving in Kenya the more than 10,000 registered churches in Kenya or secular corporates (Kenyans for Kenya)? If each church were to come up with Ksh 100,000 each we’d raise Ksh 1b. Who are the fastest runners in the world? Who are the wealthiest? There are 1140 billionaires in the world. I don’t know their personal profiles but for those I know, none of them are Christians. There are 10million millionaires, very few are chrsitians. The fastest rally drivers, almost everyone in guiness book of world records, all the big fashion designers, the biggest talk show hosts from the twisted Oprah to Larry king…none of this guys are Christians. Where will you get more talented musicians American Idols or Road to Exodus?

I’m tired of hearing ‘why gain the whole world and lose your soul’

You know what I’m tired of hearing? Wealth is vanity; why gain the whole world and lose your soul; the love of money is the root of all evil; seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you; you can’t serve 2masters - money and God. I’m tired of hearing this not because I have now become anti-bible but because it is used as an excuse for mediocrity. Christians will prefer to pray. It’s easier than jogging every morning at 4a.m. Do not get me wrong the only problem I have with praying is when it replaces working hard. Real estate gurus sacrifice time and energy to do research. Christian real estate guys will consult God for every business decision they want to make. Am I saying consulting God is wrong? No it isn’t. But God can’t give you answers that you already have...ok let me not speak for God. Let me speak based on results.

Why do these guys keep making terrible business decisions?

Why do these guys keep making terrible business decisions? Why with the Great God who knows it all are they not the most successful in real estate? And by successful I mean, they have the least know how, they have the least real estate wealth, they have the cheaper office, they have less staff, less money for CSR and for tithe, their children go to mid level schools, they go for less expensive family holidays, they have less respect in the real estate world, they are the ones the government of Sudan will not consult when they want to rebuild the nation…I’m writing all this so that you don’t say that God does not want them to be that wealthy because money will turn them away from him. That sounds like a mean god...(deliberate small caps).

In Gold alone Solomon would have been Worth Over $100b today (no one has ever hit the $80b mark yet)

Many people in the bible were quite wealthy, quite respected or quite knowledgeable in their areas of expertise or all three of them. Abraham was good with livestock; quite good. He had his own army of 400 men to protect his property. Actually I can’t give too many examples because the bible doesn’t talk much of their success in terms of wealth. But you can easily decipher…at least in the case of Solomon it is stated. In gold alone Solomon would have been worth over $100b today not counting the other wealth. No billionaire has ever hit the $80b mark. Why I say that that sounds like a mean god is because the bible says that your gift will take you before kings. How can you go before kings and you are the least knowledgeable in your area, the least respected and the least successful in terms of results. Wealth is an end result. If you are the greatest harpist in the world, the demand to have you play in places would be overwhelming. You would probably charge $100,000 per show not because you want money but because you need to cover your flights, hotel stay and transportation of your equipment…and that is what your value will be. The bible doesn’t talk much about their wealth because that is not the important part; everything that came before that and after that is what is important. Like the talented guy who built the ark of the covenant - Bezalel, son of Uri. We do not hear anything about him after that but can you imagine how famous he was. But first of all he was the most talented in all of Israel.

Hundreds of Millions of Shillings go through the Church every Month but People are still Dying

So what is happening today? Faith without works is dead. Do you know what works is? Works is not going for a 2 week prayer get-away; that is still faith. Works is actually waking up early in the morning ort sleeping late doing your research or jogging or drawing or coding or calculating or whatever your thing is.

Hundreds of millions of shillings go through the church every month but people are still dying of hunger in our country; before we blame the government, shame on the church.

People; born again is not the qualification for everything. If you want a preacher, look for someone who is right doctrine wise, eloquent, a public speaker, has depth and understanding of the word of God and ofcourse a born again person. If the church wants to record music the person to look for is not a saved person; or a saved person who has a passion for music; or a saved person who has a passion for music and is commited to ministry. No the person to look for is a musician and when I say musician I mean professional; in other words knows about vocals and keys and is quite talented…and yes this person has to be born again.

Generally Christians too Timid when it comes to being Candid

If we did this we would have quality stuff coming from the church; because not only will we have gifted people coming from the church but people of integrity as well. Christians are very timid when it comes to being candid. We clap and cheer on everyone whether they have done a good or terrible job. The drama team will act on stage and the congregation will cheer loudly and after the service people will either say “that was really good” or say nothing at all. No one will say “My guys this Sunday the play was not so good. We could barely hear what you were saying”.  Therefore the drama guys will never know; they will only find out the day they do a show after church and barely anyone shows up. And they will say “this church of ours is not supportive at all”. The truth my friends, is that your acting is terrible but no one has the guts to tell you. And if they did tell you, you’d improve and they’d all come to watch your show.

We look at it wrong – Wealth is the End Result Your Gift is the Means

We look at it wrong. When we look at Bill Gates or Warren Buffet or Mark Zuckerberg we look at wealth. That is not what we should be looking at, we should be looking at what they do. Bill Gates built an operating system and perfected over the years, that takes a lot of work and input. His OS got extreme demand therefore he had to hire very many people to handle that and get a large office to accommodate them…and so on…and in the end this resulted to wealth. The same can be said about Zuckerberg and Facebook. For those who have watched the movie you know what he went through to come up with Facebook. He was a gifted coder and worked night to come up with stuff. Meanwhile Mr. Christian man you are praying for God to supply your needs according to His riches in glory. He probably will but He definitely will not give you $1b. How will He do that? He can’t rob a bank; He can’t manipulate people to donate money to you for no apparent reason; He can’t bring a business deal worth that much if you can’t handle it. So you will remain poor and saying lines like “It is God’s will”, “You can’t serve 2masters” etc. That is just an excuse for being lazy.

Another Famous Excuse: Giving Christian Names to Businesses

Another famous excuse: giving Christian names to businesses. Why do I say it’s an excuse? Look around, which driving school is doing better Rocky Driving School or Jehovah Driving School? Yesu ni Bwana shop or Jamhuri Kiosk? Kwanza shops with Christian names are the most common. Then there are matatus, God’s Vision matatu is overlapping, Potter House matatu inabeba excess, Jehovah’s Blessing matatu is paying bribes to cops. Giving your business, matatu, bus etc a Christian name doesn’t mean that it will succeed. It’s just a name like any other. God will bless your business because of you; and you, means your heart. People assume that by giving your business a chrsitian name that it will automatically do well and by assuming so they take a back seat and wait for God to do wonders. He won’t. God gave you a mind and gave you His word. His word says don’t make pledges you can’t keep (proverbs). So don’t. His word says be diligent in what you do (Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the grave, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom – Ecclesiastes ). His word says seek the counsel of the wise (Proverbs). So do it. Go to someone successful in a business similar to yours and get advice. We have all the resources we need.

He is an Utterly Ignorant Preacher...utterly

Utterly Ignorant Preacher

There is nothing that I utterly loath like ignorant, know-it-all preachers; who have converted their ignorance to numerous sermons enough to keep them going for 200 Sundays.

Mr. Preacher, if you do not know something and you have no one to ask; Google it. You know, google, the famous search engine; that will lead you to where to find the answer to what time of the night you dream! Some preacher at JKUAT, during a Sunday service not a discussion session; said ‘did you know you that dreams normally come at 3a.m.?’ and he went on to explain that if you dream that you are eating it mean this and if you dream you are falling it means that and if you dream you are flying it means the other and a lot of other nonsense…oh yah, ati you dreams come at 3a.m. because that is the time when devil worshippers are praying. So what you are saying is that God gives us sleep, the devil worshippers control the dreams. That’s a bit twisted.

Joseph in the bible had dreams and they had meaning. His 11 brothers and father and mother had dreams as well and they had no meaning. All the prisoners in the jail where Joseph was had dreams and they had no meaning: all except 2 of them.

Stages of Sleep

First of all, I wish you were preaching to medical students, they would all burst out laughing. Sleep has 5 stages:

N1(5-10mins)

The body is still quite alert; in fact its not uncommon for someone to claim that they were not sleeping if you wake them up at this stage. This is where we experience hypnagogic hallucinations; where you hear something like someone calling you, or you suddenly jerk like you are falling…happens a lot to students in class.

N2 (20mins)

Consciousness decreases. This stage occupys 45-55% of adult sleep.

N3 (30mins)

This is deep sleep where night terror, sleep walking, nocturnal enuresis (urinating in bed), parasomnias (sleeping disorders) would occur.

REM (Rapid Eye Movement)

And this is where dreams occur. This is the Atonia stage: the stage where the voluntary body muscles are paralysed to protect from self damage. The REM stage is first short, but increase in length to up to 1hr as the sleep cycle is repeated.

Sleep: N1-N2-N3-N2-REM (This cycle is repeated up to 5 times in a night)

We get to REM approximately 90min after we sleep.

CU at JKUAT

So Mr. Extremely Ignorant Preacher the only way we can always dream at 3am is if we always sleep at 1:30a.m. As I was saying before if you do not know it Google it…if you don’t know what that is, then DO NOT preach about it. I don’t know why we allow such nonsense on our pulpit. Who are the CU leaders of JKUAT? Please vet those who are preaching before they preach. Apart from getting annoyed I probably wouldn’t mind some ignorant entertainment on a Sunday morning…but some people are led astray, some people believe what the preacher is saying and even stick it on their wall.

I hate it when preachers come up with their own theories of something and preach it as gospel truth misleading so many. I have seen such a book; the meaning of dreams. Fine; people can write whatever they want but should not base it on Christianity if there is no basis in the bible.

Christians Are Not Bold Enough

Even in our churches; I go to NPC, the doctrine is very sound, I must say but there are sometimes when a preacher makes a comment that is not in line with the bible. No one corrects him, he just moves on. I hear in the Mosque, if the Sheikh makes a mistake he is corrected. I don’t know if that is true. But in our church, a pastor makes wrong statement and no-one not even a fellow pastor corrects him…he just keeps on and on explaining that statement. Is it that Christians are not bold enough? I think one day when I get to boiling point I will raise my hand and as respectfully as possible say ‘could you please support what you are saying with the word of God? Coz I think you are wrong’

Dr. Oduor’s Church

I was having an argument the other day with a lady who goes to Dr Oduor’s church who says that all oil in the bible represents the Holy Spirit… and she said that in the story of the 5 virgins whose oil ran out when the bride arrived; it means that the Holy Spirit ran out and the fact that they were looking for a place to buy oil means that they were looking to buy the Holy Spirit…WHAT? Assuming that I had heard wrongly, I asked ‘you actually mean that they were looking to purchase the Holy Spirit with money?’ ‘Yes’ she said. And that’s why anointing oil is sold, it means that you need money to purchase the Holy Spirit. WHAT! If that is what Dr Oduor preaches then that has discredited everything that he says. Also about how hip-hop is demonic etc.

Nonsense!

You will find 10 churches along a distance of 1 km. Either all are scams or all except one. God can’t be that disorganized to call 10 pastors to start churches and put them all in one location to share a congregation of 500 people.

I Prayed for His Church to Backfire

There was an ambitious preacher who started a church near our neighbourhood. He used to pray late into the night and early in the morning…LOUDLY. He was so annoying. As though that was not enough he got a PA system. That church had no more than 50 people. What would you need a PA system for? Then he started doing Keshas (all night of praying). My neighbour had a baby who kept crying because of the noise. Surely was that man called by God? We complained to our landlord. I remember praying many times that his church will shut down…not move to another place…but shut down; because clearly he was an insensitive, selfish man; just thinking about himself and his church above his neighbours. He was not ignorant of what he did; I remember hearing him one night praying on his mic ‘Na wale wananiskiza naomba Mungu uwabariki’ (may God bless those who are listening to me). And God did bless us; his church shut down in less than a month. Finally we could get sleep. We learned later that he was the caretaker of the next houses; I don’t know what he was trying. Oh ya, he used to make his son or some boy and a lady sing with him. At least I don’t think the boy would want to be there at that time of the night or morning. They sang terribly. My God, it was terrible...and they sang with the mics in full volume. I couldn’t sleep. Anyway, thankfully his church backfired.

Do You Pray for Others to Hear?

Which reminds me; I don’t like my neighbours playing loud music. I love my peace. But how different am I if I would have a fellowship of 20 people and sing or pray loudly with the same noise level. I don’t remember anywhere in the bible where Jesus or his disciples would pray and make noise for the neighbours. It was never a problem they had to deal with. In fact Jesus liked looking for secluded places to pray. The disciples prayed in the upper room or went to the synagogue. The only reason the Babylonians had a problem with Daniel is that he prayed to another god (God). Not that he made noise: he opened his window and prayed facing Jerusalem 3 times a day. Just to be clear, I have no problem with noise/volume levels as long as you are still loving your neighbour as you do it. If they ask you to tone it down, please do: if they have no problem go ahead and praise God in whatever way you want.

In fact, I have remembered a story the Sadducee and the other guy. God had a problem with the Sadducee, not necessarily because he was praying loudly but because he was praying for others to hear. When we are praying loudly is it for yourself and for God e.g. an emotional outburst, a style that you have learnt etc? If so then there is no problem. But if it’s so that others may hear; like the caretaker preacher, then it’s wrong because the prayer is no longer directed to God but to others.

There is No Such Thing as Gospel & Secular Music

 

I don’t know where the division started neither do I know who started it. But I have a strong feeling that it was started with very good intentions and definitions. BUT NOW! The division of Gospel & Secular music is more of a holier-than-thou attitude more than an honour to God. I have seen a young girl, oh yah, and a female pastor as well, shaking their head with a lifted finger and a sneer on their face saying “I don’t listen to secular music”. I’m sure you can hear the tone of their voices. Holier-than-thou attitude is pride which is one of the 7 things that God utterly hates. Proverbs 6:16-19

What are you trying to achieve by saying you do not listen to secular music at that point? Are you trying to honour God or are you trying to show the way you are on the right track and the other person is on the wrong track? ‘Speck in your brothers eye, log in your own eye’ (Matt 7:3). It’s like saying the truth about stealing money. We will accept that you are honest but you still stole.

Ok. I know that not everyone who divides gospel and secular music is proud. So what about the ones who are genuinely trying honour God? Just like dressing, if you feel that as a lady, putting on a skirt honours God more than putting on a trouser, by all means, put on a skirt. I have totally no problem with that and in fact God will bless you for respecting Him because He can see what your intention is from your heart. The problem would come in when you start condemning everybody who puts on trousers. Who told you that you are the standard by which everybody else’s dressing should be measured? Who gave you that right? Same case with music: select music that you honestly believe honours God, preach it if you want but do not condemn. Who gave you the right?

I believe things like dedicating music to the devil, using music as incantation for evil achievements exists but I will not jump into condemning anyone because they are suddenly making a lot of money. Just because Jay Z is making a lot of money doesn’t make him a devil worshiper. I’m not saying that he is not; I’m not saying that he is either. I’m just saying that I do not have the right to put him in that terrible category if I do not know for sure. So, you might be asking, do I listen to Jay Z? No I don’t. For these simple reasons: he is vulgar and he disrespects God. For me, that is reason enough not to listen to a musician. But I will not start saying, he is Illuminati. I don’t know and I do not need to know. I already have enough reason to discredit him. Christians said the same thing about Michael Jackson and Madonna and believe it or not Michael W Smith and Amy Grant were in the list as well; that was in the early 90’s. I grew up listening to Michael W. Smith and Amy Grant and realised ‘this guys can’t be devil worshipers. Look at what they sing about and what they talk about.’ Yet some renown speaker, born again, apparently led by the Holy Spirit claimed that they were and even had ‘evidence’ to prove it. I wish I could remember that guy’s name. I think he was Green somebody.

Music is first divided into genres (more than 570 of them) then the rest of the divisions follow. Gospel/Christian and Secular music is a religious/spiritual division not a genre. I hear people ignorantly saying, I don’t listen to rock I listen to Christian music. That is like saying I don’t eat meat I only eat beef. Talking about rock; what exactly is rock? Rock is a style of music brought about by a guitar effect. To get those effects, all you need is a lead guitar and an effects monitor which you can buy from Credible Sounds...So, if I may ask, if I buy a lead guitar and effects pedal at Ksh 20,000 from Credible Sounds and take my equipment home and play Amazing Grace have I sinned? Absolutely not! So how is it possible to say, I don’t listen to rock, I listen to Christian music when you are right there in my house singing Amazing Grace with me and probably the friend you brought along with you gets saved at some point. It’s the same thing with the most popularly condemned genre of music; Hiphop. What exactly is Hiphop? Hiphop is a style of music where the bass drum and the bass guitar is amplified and played in an almost staccato style with additional instruments like strings and keys (piano)...So if I may ask...and you know what I’m going to say. So what is the problem, what’s all this about Hiphop culture. A culture is a way of living developed by a group of people. In the hiphop culture there is a style of dressing that is very different from the rock culture and the church choir culture. None is greater than the other...I repeat NONE IS GREATER THAN THE OTHER. What makes the difference is what is in your heart. Hiphop advocates for self-confidence, self-pride amongst other things. The problem comes in when it’s taken too far. By going too far I mean; showing off your cars and how much money you have and how much money you can spend; then you are sinning against God. This is no different from bank md’s. They are wealthy, drive big cars and live in posh homes. There is no problem with that. The problem comes in when a bank md starts showing off his wealth. Just because 70% of bank managing directors show off their wealth will you say that being a bank manager is a sin? No you wouldn’t; because there’s more to being a bank manager than showing off their wealth: it’s about taking care of a whole banking system, making sure business is running well and clients are taken care of etc. It’s just the same as hiphop just because most hiphop artists are boastful and show offs it doesn’t mean that hiphop is a sin! There is more to hiphop than that. Someone was telling me other say, Hiphop is evil because of the way they dress and dance explicitly...But this happens in every genre of music: bhangra, lingala, kamba, luhya, benga, kisii, taarab, rock, neo soul, rnb, afro-fusion, heavy metal, blues, Latin, merengue,  alternative rock, country, baila, rumba, samba, batacuda, reggae, raga, dance, techno, house, flamenco, polka, bachata, afro-beat, blue-grass, soft rock and many others including many Christian songs. Are you going to say that they are all sinful songs?  So before you open your big mouth next time, do some research.

Cardinal rule, you should never ever condemn a whole group, institution or people unless you are absolutely sure that THEY ALL ARE GUILTY of what you are condemning them for.

Just because some Nigerians practise witchcraft doesn’t mean all Nigerians are evil. The Israelites condemned the Samaritans, Jesus went to them and stayed there 4 days. God did not destroy Sodom and Gomorrah just like that, he picked out the only 4 people did not practise their culture and saved them before destroying the rest. Before destroying the earth, God searched for and found one man worthy of living out of the whole population of the earth. If God will make sure that at least He will not condemn someone for something he has not done WHO ARE YOU? Who gives you the right to condemn a whole genre of music? There are more than 570 genres of music in this world; have you studied all of them? Do you even know all of them? If you do then you are condemning your fellow Christians who are busy worshiping God, winning souls and living right, whom you don’t even know. I get extremely annoyed, when I hear someone condemning a whole practise or people or culture. You will say, the American culture is bad; by whose standard? Yours? The people who say that ladies wearing trousers is a sin. Do you know all the ladies who wear trousers on earth? Are you absolutely sure that they are all sinning? If you are then say it, by all means, BUT if you are not, shut your mouth and instead of looking for fault in others look for them within yourself and fix them. The day you will be perfect with completely no sin then come out and say whatever you want to say, meanwhile, get a life and live it!

Back to the division of Gospel and Secular Music

As I said earlier, this is a religious/spiritual division. Let’s break it down. Gospel music is a very specific type of music. The gospels in the bible are about making Jesus known and spreading his word. Gospel music is exactly that or that is what it’s supposed to be. These days; gospel music means any music that talks about God. The definition is more like Godly music. Godly music is any music that honours God. If a Christian artist sings about how God has blessed him with a big car and a big house and the emphasis of the song is about the property more than it is about the Lord then that is not Godly music no matter how many times you say Jesus in that song. A song is the message that you pass. I listen to BBJ and in his music I hear his name and how he is a great rapper more than I hear God. Note; the rest of his lyrics are ok. But because of the message he is passing, I do not respect him. When he did a collabo with MaryMary the difference is very clear in their messages. But, I am not greater than BBJ, he is a Christian like I am but is doing something that is against my principle. I will therefore not condemn him and shut him out. MaryMary did not yet their principles seem to be quite difference, the common factor between them is that they are all Christians. Who is a Christian? If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord then you are a Christian; even if you are living a life that doesn’t seem Christian I have no right to say that you are not one. I am not God. The furthest I can go is tell that I think that what you are doing is wrong and give you the chance to explain yourself. People hardly do this.

How do I select which Gospel/ Christian/ Godly music to listen to? If your message is honourable to God then I will listen to you. My principles are I do not tolerate extramarital sex or insinuation of such, pride aka flossing, disregard of authority and many others that I can’t remember now. If your music elevates this, I will not listen to it and if that is how all or most of your music is then I will not respect you whether your song is Christian or not. So if you sing a song like ‘Nina Kabinti’ (Bamboo and Roughton) I will listen to it because in your song you are respecting ladies and you are against extra-marital sex which is what Paul, Solomon and David (in Psalms) talk about. But if you sing, Daktari (Esther Wahome), with all the good lyrics but in your video insinuate a romantic or sexual touch when you are singing ‘Jesus touch me’ I will totally disrespect you.

There are different kinds of Christian Music including entertainment songs. I don’t know why many Christians believe that music for entertainment is wrong yet you want do take your family to Masai-Mara. That’s contradictory. When you go to Safari Park hotel, as you eat your nyama choma, you will most likely be watching the Safari Cats. I can guarantee you that the music they are dancing to was not written by a Christian. Why? There are hardly any Christian entertainment songs. I don’t know who started this notion that Christian music should all be worship and adoration? I have heard people say; ‘we don’t sing for entertainment, we sing to worship God’. That statement is wrong and correct at the same time. It is correct because in church, music should never be sang for entertainment (I am not saying that the music should not be entertaining, I am saying that the intention or the goal of the song should not be our entertainment. Entertaining God? Yes? Dancing for Him? Yes? So what is the difference? The difference is in the heart.). That statement is wrong because, there are Christian entertainment songs e.g. the Christian songs sang for the bride during weddings. As much as they are entertainment songs, they also worship God. Everything we do as Christians is an act of worship: whether it’s drawing, construction, marketing, singing, writing etc. Worship is a lifestyle not the songs we sing in church. Even in church, worship is not that song you sing, worship is the intention or motive that is in your heart as you sing that song.  By the way only Christians have a specific type of music meant to purely worship and adore God. This is the music we sing in church or listen to when we want to worship God. Music that is meant for worship and adoration should be totally selfless. And it is. This is the only type of music where we Christians have not gone wrong. I have never heard a worship song that is corrupted by self. That is why I support the control of the behaviour of the any musician on the church pulpit. When worshiping or leading people in worship; there should be minimum distraction to the self, the person leading, or the person worshiping. That is why many churches are strict on the way the worship leaders dress, the way they conduct themselves and the kind of songs they sing. Worship is an act where people go before God and lay down their crowns. This literally means that people do not give attention to who they are and what they have. Church is the only place where the CEO and the Tea lady can sit together because it is the only place where they are doing the same thing and their statuses do not matter. 

Christian music is not only about worship and adoration. There are many things that concern a day to day Christian. He wakes in the morning and takes his children to school...there is nothing wrong with singing about that...he goes to work and on his way refuses to pay bribe to a policeman...there is nothing wrong with singing about that...he drops his wife at work and kisses her goodbye...there is nothing wrong with singing about that...he writes a bad incorrect appraisal letter about his junior whom he doesn’t like much...there is nothing wrong with singing about that...he goes home in the evening and has a fight with his wife about their finances...there is nothing wrong with singing about that...he tucks his kids in bed and does his personal bible study and while at it realised that he made a mistake at work with the appraisal and makes a note to correct it the following day...there is nothing wrong with singing about that...he apologises to his wife about the fight and they make up...there is nothing wrong with singing about that...there is probably something wrong with singing about what happens next between the man and his wife: but of course, not because sex between a man and his wife is wrong but because it better to leave it discreet as opposed to announcing to the whole world in song. Out of all these 7 song ideas I have stated above, only 1 would qualify to be a worship song: the song that would be written about the bible study he had in the evening. But it would only qualify if the song was about adoring God; otherwise it would just be a Christian song but not a worship song.

Please note: a slow Christian song doesn’t automatically mean a song is worship and not all worship songs are slow. But most are and this is because worship is an emotional experience where you make yourself vulnerable before God and more often than not this happens in sombre moods. Also note that being emotional doesn’t automatically mean that you are worshiping God. A song can be so nice, that you just want to raise your hands. That is an emotional gesture appreciating the beauty of the song whether it’s a Christian song or not. There is nothing wrong with that, but it is wrong to assume that everybody who raises their hands is worshipping. Raising your hand in worship has a completely different meaning; it means total surrender to God.

So do I listen to Secular Music? Yes and No. I do not divide the music I listen to according to gospel and secular. Neither does anyone though we claim that we do. What is secular music? There are 2 definitions. One definition is ‘worldly’, the other definition is ‘anything music that is not Christian music’ which is the commonly but ignorantly used definition. If you say you do not listen to Secular music, you only listen to Gospel music what about Muslim worship music? It’s not gospel neither is it secular (worldly). Its worship just like the Christian worship music, only that it adores Allah not Jehovah God. What do you sing to your sister or child on her birthday? Do you sing ‘God is so good’ or do you sing ‘Happy Birthday’? Happy Birthday is not a Christian song, neither is all  the music used in movie trailers, neither is the music used in news and TV adverts, neither are all the nursery rhymes like ‘humpty dumpty’ and ‘Mary had a little lamb’. All this is not gospel music; and you say you do not listen to secular music! Let me add; all Mozart piano pieces all celebratory songs like ‘Werocome-u’ the kikuyu version of ‘welcome’ sang during weddings.

There are so many types and styles of music which don’t simply fit into gospel or secular. Take Karl Jenkins music for example; say his famous song ‘Adiemus’ redone by Enya; where will you categorize his music?  He cleverly used the human voice as a musical instrument. The song has no lyrics just sounds and instruments. So is it gospel or secular, will you listen to it or not? Does it glorify God or not. It does. It excellent; God upholds diligence, it makes use of high levels of skill, God acknowledges this (He instructed that Bezaleel (Exodus 35:30 and on) to be the one to build the Ark of the Covenant. Not because he was the most faithful church goer, but because he was the most skilled. Whether Karl Jenkins lived an honourable life or not I do not know. All that matters is that the music does not dishonour God and I am not using it to dishonour God e.g. seduce a girl. If you use a Christian song for seduction you are still sinning. If Jesus appeared there He would put off the music. Another example of songs you will not be able to categorize is songs by E.S. Posthumas who are 2 brothers. An example of their music is Nara. An extract of the song Nara is used as the theme song for the TV series Cold Case. Such a beautiful song: I love it when the drums and the violins come in.

And do not tell me that rubbish about spirits in music! The reason I say rubbish is because many Christian leaders use this reasoning because you cannot prove and discredit them. I know that some music is dedicated to divine powers. Christian worship music is specifically dedicated to God who is our Divine Power. Christian worship music is more than just music. People get saved or convicted of something, or uplifted just by listening to worship music. I know I have. Remember, I am talking about Christian worship music not just Christian music.

It works the same way on the flip side. Music dedicated to the devil and spirits is powerful as well. I have heard of rock bands singing songs of sacrificing a maiden and have heard of their fans going ahead and killing a young girl. This kind of music is not just music. I have heard of music that talks about suicide and a fan goes ahead and does it.

But this does not mean that all music has spirits or is dedicated to spirits. If it was so the majority of people not the minority would be affected. Many Christians say that when you listen to music by someone like 50cent, the spirits from him will be transferred to you. First of all where is that in the bible? Second, if that was so, does it mean that every time you board a matatu (public transport van) and 50cent music is playing spirits are transferred to you. Or the spirits only transfer to you when you are listening in your house?

God is the author of all music not Satan. God is the author of everything including sex. The only thing God is not the author of is sin. Nothing comes from the devil. What you do with what you have is what makes the difference between right and wrong. The devil was the chief musician in heaven...He was created by God. God was the source. So there is no such thing as rock is from the devil, hiphop is from the devil. What is from the devil is the sin in that genre of music. If you deleted the devil, rock and hiphop and all the other kinds of ‘sinful music’ would still remain but it would have a positive influence on people instead. Anything a human being does or can do is based on the gift, talent or ability within him. Only God gives abilities and gifts. They say that Jay z and Rihanna are Illuminati and serve the devil and that is why they are so successful. It’s not that simple. These 2 are extremely gifted musicians. Not many people have the vocal capabilities and the unique voice that Rihanna has: Not many people have the creativity and the business guts of Jay z. The only part the devil would come in is by him saying ‘These people have unique abilities that I can use. All I need to do is offer them their wildest dreams’. The devil does not give abilities, he uses what you have. Only God can give abilities. If it were so, all I would need to do to be as rich as Jay z would be to join the Illuminati and so would everybody else and we would have billions of billionaires.

Music is good or bad based on the intention of the singer and the listener (or the one playing the music) and not the lifestyle of the musician or source of the original song as many Christians tend to think. That is why a song extract by Edith Piaf (1935-1963) who lived a life clouded by mystery can be used in News and you will not get demons jumping into your house every time the news comes on; because the intention of the one playing the music (the news guys) was to get a catchy stringy tune. If that was the case there would be spirits every time we sang Blessed Assurance or Amazing Grace and many other hymns because they were coined from tunes of the secular songs of those days. But the intention of the writers e.g. Fanny Crosby and John Newton, were pure and honourable.

The intentions of 50cent Candy Shop song is sex with some girl from the club. If I watch a TV series like CSI and the cops walk into a club to investigate something, chances are that they would play a song like 50cent’s Candy Shop, I don’t have to mute the TV for fear of spirits jumping into the house. The intention of the Script Writer is to emphasize the fact that this is an American club. The song would be played for about 3 seconds, not enough time to listen to it but enough time to hear what type of music it is so that we know what type of club the cops have walked into. The intention of the script writer or the one in charge of music is pure. It would be injustice and mediocre work if just because I’m a Christian script writer I decide to use an extract of Don Moen’s music as the cops walk into the club.  Not only is that a wrong and unprofessional depiction, it’s also an abuse of Don Moen’s music. Don’t get me wrong, if they play the whole of 50cent’s song just as it is, then the intention is different and wrong (against my principles); either to market 50cent or to make us listen to it.

It’s the same case as singing or playing Amazing Grace. As much as the intention of John Newton was pure it doesn’t automatically mean that mine is. I (who has a wife) might be singing it to my secretary Grace and cleverly using the song to tell her how amazing she is. But if a stranger gets into my car at that point, he will not know what is going on between me and Grace and will probably say ‘wow, you guys are such Christians. You don’t mind listening to Amazing Grace in the car. I envy you.’ Yet if Jesus walked into the same car, he would put the music off or punish me for not honouring Him. Note, it’s not John Newton (the author of the song) dishonouring God, neither is it the stranger who got into the car, it is me because of what I was using the song for and Grace as well if she was condoning it.

Why do you listen to this kind of music? Which kind?

I have rode in the car with someone before and they hear me listening to a song like ‘Pearls’ by Sade, also done by India Arie and Angelique Kidjo (I honestly think this song should have been done by a Christian artist) and they ask me why do you listen to this kind of music? I normally take a moment to calm my fit of rage then say ‘listen to it and you tell me why I listen to it’. Honestly people just talk and probably just parrot what their pastor told them without processing it themselves. How do I know this? I will ask someone to give me reasons why they stand by a certain principle and apart from the fact that they were taught so in church, they have no other reason; they can’t even defend it biblically except by the interpretation they were given by their pastor. Don’t get me wrong, I respect my Pastor very much (Pastor Kuchio). He is an honourable man, but I do not take everything he says as the ‘gospel truth’ so to speak unless I, myself am sure that the basis is from the bible and not some twisted interpretation of it. But so far, I have never heard him say anything that goes against the word of God.

The other day I met someone who told me that the story of the five virgins in the bible (Matthew 25) who went to buy oil for their lamps is symbolic of the Holy Spirit and the anointing oil and is the justification why we should buy anointing oil from our Pastor and it actually means that you are buying the Holy Spirit! WHAT! Yup! I know; that was my reaction as well. And the only explanation she could give was the fact that that is what they are taught so in church. I will not name the church because I have not heard it myself. But if I ever hear that pastor actually say that, I will name and shame him. Shame on you! So where do you take the money when the ‘saints’ have bought the holy spirit (intentional use of small caps) with? Do you take it to God so that He can buy his angels moisturizer for their wings? Nonsense!

So, where was I? I was talking about how people parrot their pastors say without confirming whether it is true or not. I remember a pastor saying that Lingala and everything associated with it is satanic. I believed him and probably said that to a couple of my friends only to realise years later that Lingala not just music but is a language and the most commonly spoken in Congo meaning the most common music in Congo whether Christian or secular is Lingala. What a deception? Probably the pastor said it out of ignorance and mostly it was a personal opinion. He did not like Lingala music so he decided that Lingala music is satanic and taught this to his church. That is why I say, these days whether you are Bonke or Joel Osteen everything you teach has to be based directly from the bible and if an interpretation is used it must be beyond a shadow of a doubt accurate.

Do you remember the story of David and his harp in the bible? Every time David played his harp, the evil spirit left King Saul. Why? What tune was he playing? If I found out what tune it was and played exactly what he played to a demon-possessed man would the evil spirit leave him? Is it because David was playing Blues instead of playing Benga? Or is it because he was playing harp and not a bass guitar? NO! It was because of the person he was. Why did they insist on David and not the most talented harp player in the kingdom? I think by now you know what I’m trying to say: it had nothing to do with the type of song, the genre of music, the instrument, the voice or the tune. It had everything to do with David’s heart. David was a humble man who feared God and dedicated his life to Him. He later became the greatest King that ever lived.